But they are so Resilient

Two kids.  Lots of moves.  My daughter went into grade 5 in her fifth school.  But they are so resilient.  French, move, No French, move, French, move, No French, move… suddenly there is no choice.  The French ship has sailed.  Not by choice, but due to the fact that my husband serves in the Canadian Armed Forces.  But they are so resilient.

My 12 year old daughter announced to me the other day that she is no good at long distance relationships.  Seriously?  She has lost more close friends than many people have in a lifetime.  What she takes away from that is not that her parents keep moving her but that she is ‘terrible at long distance relationships’.  But she is so resilient.

I wonder.  Am I going to look back at our lives and say that the experience has made them better people, or are we going to look back and say ‘I wish we had done things differently’?  My husband lived this life as a kid and he turned out just fine.  People will tell you this all the time, but I think it depends on the kid.  Depends on the years that you move…

‘But they are so resilient’.  Sometimes I wonder if this isn’t just my internal propaganda machine.

I guess we will just have to wait and see.

What do you think? Do you think that our military lifestyle makes our kids more resilient?  Do any of you have parent guilt over the choices we make?


  1. Sandra Jager

    May 7, 2016 at 8:31 am

    It is very much an individual thing. We have two sons, one of whom thrived in this environment. He has since chosen the military for his career. I cannot say the same for my younger son. The constant moves made his anxiety issues more problematic, particularly when we moved to Quebec and he discovered that he was expected to be fluent in a language he had no knowledge of. My exceptionally bright child couldn’t cope and ended up dropping out of school in grade ten after yet another interprovincial move. Different children, different results.

    • Canadian Army Spouse

      May 7, 2016 at 8:34 am

      I totally agree! One of my kids emphatically declared that he was never moving again and the other cried at the thought of it. She is ready for another adventure! (Clearly the family PR campaign worked well)

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